does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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