She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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