I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize