Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
