I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
