Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
