google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
