I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
