once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
