I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
