Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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