he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
What changed your mind?
Being sober
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Randomize
