why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize