You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
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