Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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