My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
