My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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