Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
