haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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