taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
