at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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