Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
