You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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