You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
