I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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