is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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