Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
