I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
