Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
