i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Did I show you my penis last night?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
