So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
