Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
