I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
