I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
