so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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