I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
