its not stalking. its research.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
