he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
