i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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