she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
