my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
either way he was missing a nipple.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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