Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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