Your mouth is God's brothel.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
