the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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