im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
