dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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