is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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