It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
