he wants to bone in the snuggie
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
