pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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